Iggy's Bedtime Stories
by Silverblazes
Summary: Iggy has to tell the younger members of the flock a bedtime story. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Iggy's bedtime stories

"In the beginning on time there was nothing, but a dude who seriously needed to shave. Then he decided to make a bride worthy of his awesomeness. So he made a woman out of one of his seriously long mustache hairs. Surprisingly, she was really hot!"

"Iggy! What would Max think if she heard you right now?" Max and Fang had gone off to find supplies (and to possibly have a make out session.) So, Iggy was in charge of having to put the younger members of the flock to bed. They wanted a bed time story, and wouldn't settle for the famous "Once upon a time, SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP! Story.

"I'm in charge, so on with the story! Any way, this woman was pretty much super model worthy. So, she decided to make a husband of her own. This dude was created, but he wanted an even prettier wife. So this wife was even hotter. This cycle went on until, this person was so freaking awesome, that he turned ugly. This was the creation of the first ugly person! Nighty night kids!" Iggy left, leaving the rest of the flock to wonder what the heck was wrong with him

The end!


	2. Chapter 2

Iggy's Bedtime Stories

Chapter 2

Once again, Iggy was left to babysit (or rather flock-sit). The younger members of the Flock were dreading another 'interesting' story from Iggy.

"Hey Iggy, can we skip the bedtime story?"

"No! Anyway, a long time ago, like the 1940's, there was this really annoying little weirdo kid, who was seriously annoying. So, the people of the town, or village or whatever, decided to burn him. Except there was a bunch of hippies who wanted to protect all the little children of the world, or something. So, instead they decided to annoy the kid for a change.

Anyway, they got a bunch of anti-hippies who practiced this magic junk. So they conjured pixies! These pixies poked, screamed, and even pointed their fingers at him!"

"Iggy what's the point of this story?''

"Shut up! And let me do my thing! Anyway, these pixies tortured him for the rest of eternity. The lesson of this? Don't annoy Iggy, or young pixies will come to poke you! Night Night!"

Iggy left. The Flock wondering if there was medical help for winged kids. 


	3. Chapter 3

Iggy's Bedtime Stories

Chapter 3

Despite the many pleadings of the younger flock members, Fang and Max had to go away to find 'supplies'. (Honestly, they just wanted to get away from Iggy's blabbering.)

"Once upon a time, in The Land of Awesomeness there lived this winged king named Sir Iggy the awesome. His royal subjects even called him Sir of Awesomeness!"

"Iggy! We all know you're not a king!"

"Shut up! Anyway, this king had so many women who wanted to marry him, that he decided to take a bride. So, this girl had to be _seriously _hot. He searched ,and, searched, but no girl was just hot enough. One day, while on the beach he saw this amazing beach beauty. She was tall, blonde, had an amazing but-"

"Iggy, is that the girl that we saw on the beach we saw one day, that you tried to talk to? Then she told you get lost, and then threatened to call the cops, so we had to leave?"

"Uh….no?"

"Oh, okay.

"Anyway, this babe was already married, but she had sister! So, Iggy married the sister that was _way _hotter. That, my friends, is how I got married. Sleep tight! Don't let my awesomeness bite!" Iggy left.

"We should really find Iggy a girlfriend."


	4. Chapter 4

Iggy's Bedtime Stories Chapter 4

Turns out, there was medical help for winged kids. Max, and Fang decided to take Iggy to theraoy for two reasons; One: The stories had driven the younger members of the flock to the point when Iggy would enter the room, the others would run out screaming Two: The therapy was cheap. (The therapist was one of those dudes who offers 'beverages' on the street. Except, it was a girl and she didn't offer beverages, but she did offer pudding.)

"Wait where's my beach bunny?"

"Iggy, this is a nice doctor who's going to 'help' you."

"Is she a beach bunny?"

"She's wearing bright blue bunny ears. Does that count?"

"Iggy, I'm LilWhatsHerName. Can I see your wings even though you can't?"

"Err, sure?" Iggy stretched out his wings. Max, and Fang left.

"Okay, let's get started."

Then Iggy told her a very false story, about his six pack, the bedtime stories, and claimed they were true.

She knew the truth, he was very flabby.

"Okay Iggy, now I'm going to 'help' you now. MWHAHAHAHAHA!"

The End?


	5. Chapter 5

Iggy's Bedtime Stories

Chapter 5

The Flock was peacefully eating their scavenged dinner ( or as peaceful as it ever gets.) When suddenly Iggy came crashing down.

"AAAAH!"

"Iggy what-?"

" AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What's going-"

"AAAAAHHHH-"

"Don't make me slap you Iggy." Iggy stopped screaming, a slap from Max left you whimpering in corner.

"Okay, what the heck happened?"

Iggy opened his mouth, then closed it, then smiled. Not a good sign.

" Well your deviously handsome winged king happened! There I was sitting with that therapist. When LilWhatsHerName attacked! Turns out, she was a ninja! Of course, she no match for me! With my awesome fighting skills, and six pack-"

"Iggy you don't-"

"Don't be hater! Anyway, I busted out my skills, while she tried to beat me with ninja power! She failed, and I left her wishing she had never gotten out of bed."

Suddenly, LilWhatsHerName poofed out of nowhere.

"Yeah, I told the Iggy the truth."

"Why did you do that? The truth about Iggy is about as pretty as what you do in the toilet! "

"True, but you either get rudeness (truth) or lies from me. So, when I tell him the truth, then he calls me some very colorful names. Then he tries arm wrestling me, he loses, and then cries, and leaves. See you in a week." She poofed out.

"Iggy."

"Yes?"

"What ever she told you-"

"Yeah?"

"Isn't true."

"Really? Well that's a relief-"

"It's much, much worse."


	6. Chapter 6

Iggy's Bedtime Stories

Chapter 6

The younger members of the Flock were sitting around, when Iggy came rushing in, sweaty and out of breath.

"Iggy what-"

"Max and Fang are hunting me down to take me that wakadoodle therapist.!" Max and Fang had brought rope, and duct tape with them, so that explained some things. (Ah, the things you can do with duck tape!)

"Iggy, you _have_ to go therapist."

"No I don't! and my awesomeness will forbid it! Which reminds me of a story…"

Everyone groaned, but no one bothered running, it was no use, Iggy would find you.

"It reminds me of the time I summoned THE POWER OF THE TURTLES!"

Say what?

"The power of the turtles is a great and mighty power which can only be harvested, by those truly awesome. Even I myself have only summoned it once."

"Who are you and what have you with Iggy? Iggy doesn't use big words, they make his head hurt, and make him cry!"

"That's not….entirely true. Anyway I was sitting with my wife on the beach, eating pie, when this dude came up to me, and took my PIE! NO ONE TAKES _MY_ PIE! So I got mad!" This part could actually be true, once Nudge, as a joke hid his pie, and well…Iggy's inner beast came out. Iggy's inner beast was a Chihuahua, but this Chihuahua had rabies, and teeth even bigger than it's head. It's actually pretty scary.

"I was really mad, so I called upon the fiercest animal in the sea! Which turned out to be A Sea Turtle! This turtle was HUGE so with it's flippers, it smacked the dude right off his feet. The due was smacked so hard, he's still flying through space!" Max, and Fang came rushing in.

"Iggy! Get your butt here right now!"

"That my friends, is why you should never take my pie, or you will fly into space, never to be seen again!" Iggy ran. Max, and Fang followed.

The End


	7. Chapter 7

Iggy's Bedtime Stories

Chapter 7

"Halleluiah! Peace to my peeps! I'm friggin' free!" Iggy's therapy sessions were now cancelled.

"Iggy? Why don't you have to go anymore?"

"That my friends is none of your business."

"But-"

"Remember I CAN CONJURE PIXIES! Any who, I need to teach you guys the important stuff, like how to make an explosive out of nothing but gum, toilet paper, a rubber band, and a nickel."

"What?"

"It's time I told you were llamas come from."

"Don't they come from others llamas?"

"HAHAHAHHA! NO! Llamas actually come a different planet. I mean come on look at them! They have weirdly long necks, with lots of shaggy fur, or hair or whatever. Can you imagine how much hair they leave in the shower drain?"

"Iggy llamas don't use showers."

"Okay, so you're saying that dude at the beach was really that hairy, so hairy that he didn't have to put on swim trunks?"

"…."

"Exactly. My friends, llamas come from the planet Hair-ing-ton-smell-ing-ton. Llamas originally came to earth to escape the foul odors of the other animals living on their planet. These animals were called Pooper Scoopers. They ate the poop of other animals, and then rolled around in it, letting themselves marinate in it, for two hours to get the fully pungent smell."

"What the-"

"Anyway llamas traveled the galaxy in search of a not so horrible smelling place to call home. When they reached Earth, they discovered corn dogs! Yes, if it weren't for the amazing tasting corn dogs, we wouldn't have llamas. So don't be a hater, donate your corn dog today to the Save a Llama Foundation. Or the SLF. Goodnight!"

"But-"

"SHUT UP! Or the llamas will come to steal you corn dogs."

The end

**(AN: This is my first author's note ever! But, I bring bad news, I will stop writing this story after Chapter 10. **


	8. Chapter 8

Iggy's Bedtime Stories

Chapter 8

The Flock was running away. From Iggy's Stories. Unfortunately, Iggy had just drunk various energy drinks, that along with his already superhuman speed, he was unstoppable.

"Iggy! Shut you _freaking_ mouth!"

Iggy had cornered them. Fang then let out a stream of very colorful words when Iggy brought out a lawn chair, and sat down. The reason they didn't fly away was because they knew eventually Iggy would catch up to them. They might as well get it over with.

"Now, why don't tell you guys about the time I joined a motorcycle gang?"

"Iggy! Your stories are not true! Give it a rest already! We're freaking tired of this-"

"My motorcycle gang name was Fly Awesome. The other members of the gang were Killer Homes, Dirt Rider, Skull Crusher, and most terrifying of all was Ham."

"Iggy-"

"Silence! Anyway, Ham was 5 ft 1, and was 105 pounds of pure terror. One day we were cruising along the rough streets of Idaho. When suddenly we got in a race with the other gang in the city! They challenged us, who ever won got the title of The Most Terrifying Gang, in Idaho. The losers had to leave the state and go home in their underwear. These idiots had been questioning our authority for a long time. So we excepted the challenge. The race began at noon."

"Aren't races usually with cars, not motorcycles?"

"NOOO! Anyway, the race began the other gang was in the lead! So we kept on going, breaking the speed limit more and more. When suddenly, our gang caught up, then we won the race! The other gang still had 50 yards to go! They went home crying, in their Hello Kitty underwear! Our gang laughed, and we drank soda to celebrate! The End!"

"Iggy-"

"You guys really should learn to shut up, but don't worry! My awesomeness will eventually rub off on you. Night Night!"


	9. Chapter 9

Iggy's Bedtime Stories

Chapter 9

"HAKUNA MATATA!" Iggy sang at the top of his lungs. He was dressed in a Halloween costume of Timon.

"Iggy, why are you wearing footy pajamas?"

"It's MY COSTUME! NOT PAJAMAS!" Iggy was indeed, dressed in a Timon costume, complete with a mask!

"Listen, it's time I told you the story of…THE IGGY KING!"

"Don't you mean The Lion King?"

"HA! NOOO! Listen, Disney ripped of the story of my life. As you know, I grew up in a science lab. But the real story began when that (insert curse word of choice) science lab dude held me up to present me to others. Disney replaced that science dude, with that freaking awesome monkey Rafiki. Of course, EVERYONE fell down to their knees in worship. Next-"

"Iggy. We were in that lab too, we NEVER saw them worship you."

"Shut up my kitties! Anyway, the next few years of my life were tragic, I grew up, banished from civilization. Then Rafiki the monkey came to rescue me! Rafiki is even AWESOMER than Chuck Norris. So he busted out his freaking awesome moves, and took me to train me in the ways of awesome."

"Max, are you sure we can't take Iggy back to the therapist?'

"STOP interrupting me! Rafiki then taught me. Then I came back to the lab! To save you guys! Then, I reclaimed my friends, and joined you guys. That is the end of my story!" Eyebrows were raised.

"Iggy, Rafiki taught you?"

"Of course! Now remember! It means no worries! Good night!"

**Author's Note: ) What would my audience like to read about next? 1) The Maximum Ride characters have a party to celebrate Iggy's final chapter with guests of your choice. 2) Chuck Norris and Rafiki have a battle 3) A completely different idea. Review to cast in your vote! **


	10. Chapter 10

Iggy's Bedtime Stories

Chapter 10

**Author's Note) All right. Since only a FEW of you reviewed. I'm just gonna have to wing it.**

Party decorations were set up, Iggy was scribbling on a clipboard.

"ALL RIGHT PEOPLE! MOVE YOUR FAT SELVES AND GET MOVING!" Iggy then ducked behind a couch as Max threw a chair at him.

"THE CHAIRS GO OVER THERE MAX! DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MY SELF?" Iggy had done absolutely nothing except yell at everyone. Chairs were being set up for Iggy's guests. Everyone was relieved that this would soon be over.

"LOOSE SOME WEIGHT FANG! YOU'RE LOOKING LARGE IN THE-" Fang's fist was inches away from Iggy's face. He stopped talking. Suddenly, Iggy started hopping up and down. Stuttering, and screaming.

"RA-RA-" Everyone was afraid Iggy had drunk another energy drink.

"RAFIKI! AND CHUCK NORRIS!" Everyone turned around. Simultaneously everyone's jaw dropped. There they were. Being awesome in ways you can't understand.

"Are you guys gonna battle?" asked Iggy. Rafiki shrugged.

"Depends on-" Chuck Norris interrupted.

"I don't wanna get arrested for animal abuse."

"It would only be abuse if you could manage to hit me." Rafiki said. Banging Chuck Norris on the head. Chuck Norris screamed

"OH YOU WANNA-?" Rafiki then proceeded to jab him in the mouth.

"This is epic." Iggy said, chewing popcorn.

"THAT'S IT MONKEY I'M GONNA-" Simba then pounced on Chuck Norris, knocking him to the ground. Simba then proceeded out the door. Rafiki then called on all the animals. Timon, Pumbaa, elephants, giraffes, and even some zebras came.

"That is one awesome horse!" Iggy said. He pointed to a zebra.

"I should have him as my steed!" Rafiki shook his head. That was one stupid human/bird thing. Rafiki asked,

"So Chuck Loris. Where's your backup?"

"It's Norris. And I don't need backup!"

"Ah. That was not a wise choice. CHARGE MY FRIENDS!" Animals charged at Chuck Norris. He ducked, round-housed kicked, and punched anything that came his way. At the end, animals laid sprawled on the ground. The Flock was shocked.

"So Rafiki? Think you can win?" Chuck Norris said. Rafiki came up to him. And hit him on the head. Chuck Norris passed out.

"Whoa…..What just happened?" Rafiki explained

"I hit him on a nerve ending. Causing him to pass out."

"Why didn't you do that in the first place!" screamed Iggy.

"Because. All of the animals here owe me money. So now we're even." Another person entered the scene it was Santa Claus.

"You're late." Iggy said. Santa Claus sighed.

"I know, my reindeer had to make a pit stop." He looked around.

"They owed you money?" Santa asked Rafiki. Rafiki nodded.

"Been there, done that. Never again. Ah well. I brought everyone some presents!" Everyone cheered. Presents were distributed.

"Oh I almost forgot!" Santa Claus said.

"Iggy, if the viewers want, you get to make a second installment!" Everyone but Iggy, and Santa Claus passed out. Iggy thought for a moment.

"If the viewers want!" Santa Claus nodded.

"Alright. Everyone review!"

**Author's Note: Your comments are necessary. You MUST review, come on, Santa Claus commands it! **


End file.
